The War on Whatever is not meant to be won. It is meant to be continuous, which it is. Like the never-ending war in Orwell’s 1984, it is waged by the empire against its own subjects, but not only to keep the structure of society intact, also, in our case, to transform society into a… Read More The War on Whatever
Do not adjust your telescreen. This is not a test. It’s a state of emergency! A full-blown national state of emergency! Yes, that’s right, once again, we need to dispense with the rule of law and take a series of emergency measures in order to save “democracy,” or “freedom,” or “to remedy the distress of… Read More This is Not a Test
Guess what time it is, boys and girls. Did you guess it? I’m pretty sure you did. That’s right, it’s time for the Big Switcheroo! It’s Morning in America Again time! It’s Hope and Change time! It’s Putting People First time! It’s Make America Great Again time! Yes, it’s time to change the set of… Read More Heil to the Chief
So, it’s déjà vu all over again. That’s right, he’s back! Trumpenstein the Monster! Literal Russian-Agent Hitler! The Ayatollah of Orange Shinola! And this time he’s not screwing around! No, this time, he is really going to “drain the swamp”! He’s going to rebuild that “big, beautiful wall”! It’s curtains for all you Mexican rapists,… Read More The Revenge of Trumpenstein
So, the quadrennial simulation of democracy in the USA is getting underway, and personally, I couldn’t be happier. It’s been a challenging few years for unincorporated political satirists like myself. The roll-out of the new global-capitalist totalitarianism hasn’t been particularly funny. In fact, it has been extremely not funny. Squeezing a little humor out of… Read More The Second Coming of Literal Hitler
2020 was GloboCap Year Zero. The year when the global capitalist ruling classes did away with the illusion of democracy and reminded everyone who is actually in charge, and exactly what happens when anyone challenges them. In the relatively short span of the last ten months, societies throughout the world have been transformed beyond recognition.… Read More Year Zero
Break out the pussyhats and vuvuzelas, folks, because the neoliberal Resistance is back, and this time they’re not playing around. No more impeachments and investigations. It’s time to go mano-a-mano with Trump, and they’ve finally got just the bad hombre to do it. No, not Bernie Sanders, you commies. A battle-hardened Resistance fighter. El Caballo… Read More Subcomandante Bloomberg
America just can’t catch a break. After three long years of brutal oppression under Donald Trump’s Russia-backed Nazi Reich, it turns out the only Democratic candidate with a chance of unseating him in November and rescuing the world from the Putin-Nazis is a 78-year-old bloodthirsty Commie with a Khmer Rouge-like army of kill-crazy followers. Yes,… Read More Bernie Sanders’ Commie Kill Swarm
I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I’m a little worried about Donald Trump. I’m worried he might be on the verge of a sudden, major heart attack, or a stroke, or a fatal golfing accident. Food poisoning is another possibility. Or he could overdose on prescription medication. A tanning bed mishap is… Read More Dead President Walking
So, it looks like that’s it for America, folks. Putin has gone and done it again. He and his conspiracy of Putin-Nazis have “hacked,” or “influenced,” or “meddled in” our democracy. Unless Admiral Bill McRaven and his special ops cronies can ginny up a last-minute military coup, it’s four more years of the Trumpian Reich,… Read More The Putin-Nazis Are Coming (Again)!
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