Consent Factory, Inc. is a market-leading provider of post-ideological consulting services to private and public sector clients throughout the developed (and in some cases developing) world. Experts in the fields of behavioral and psychological conditioning, we offer an extensive range of individually-customized strategic-planning and project-implementation services in the following areas: education (all levels); parenting; advertising and marketing; media (traditional and alternative); governance; arts and culture; spirituality; science and medicine; and many others.
Our specialties include: privatization; globalization; deindustrialization, outsourcing and offshoring; crisis generation and exploitation; pathologization of political and/or moral issues; establishment and maintenance of epistemological and perceptual boundaries; normatology; narrative reinforcement; secularization of underexploited global markets; attention span reduction; confusion optimization; and so on.
Please note that, although we do ocassionally coordinate with corporate-friendly dictators and murderous authoritarian regimes on behalf of some of our clients, the Consent Factory, Inc. remains fanatically committed to the establishment and maintenance of global neoliberalism (i.e., laissez faire capitalism), and thus opposes all forms of despotism that prevent our clients from forcing into debt, aggressively privatizing, and then ruthlessly exploiting whatever markets they (i.e., these murderous despots) control. In other words, we don’t care how you oppress your own people at home, as long as you’re playing ball with our clients globally.
The Consent Factory, Inc., thanks to some sort of bureaucratic trickery our legal team is still trying to unravel, is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Amalgamated Content, Inc., a fictitious business name owned and operated by C. J. Hopkins, a fairly low-level part-time employee formerly based in our Berlin offices, whose current whereabouts are unknown. Here’s our most recent surveillance photo of him, which is rumored to have been taken during the summer of 2016 on an island somewhere in the Ionian Sea …
All original content on this blog is the private intellectual property of Mr. Hopkins, who, weirdly, as the result of that above-mentioned bureaucratic trickery, is both one of our employees and, technically, our boss (and who, despite his ridiculous neo-hippyish appearance, retains a battalion of extremely rude and gratuitously litigious intellectual property attorneys who, trust us, you do not want to mess around with).
Any and all third party content on this blog remains the exclusive property of whoever we stole it from, which Mr. Hopkins had nothing to do with. Any and all third parties republishing Mr. Hopkins’ copyrighted material without his or our permission are advised to at least credit him properly.
The Consent Factory welcomes readers’ comments, which shall be subject to moderation by our anonymous in-house moderators and fact checkers according to some arbitrary set of ever-changing standards we’re not going to waste your time trying to appear to articulate. However, here are a few simple guidelines you may want to follow:
(1) comments from across the political spectrum are welcome — although we are all soulless neoliberals here at the Consent Factory, we appreciate comments and criticism from those with opposing views, as we can use them to try to manipulate you in the future. Having said that, if you think you’re going to use the comments section of our posts to publish a bunch of racist and/or anti-Semitic garbage, or any other type of idiotic identitarian garbage for that matter, you’re wasting your time. There are still a number of Internet outlets that will let you do that. We strongly defend the rights of those outlets to publish your garbage and encourage you to go and publish your garbage there;
(2) comments primarily consisting of insults/personal abuse, whether directed at Mr. Hopkins, or any of our staff, agents, subsidiaries, or assigns, or at other commenters, are, among other things, incredibly boring, and will be summarily deleted;
(3) if we even think you’re a machine or an astroturfer, or that you are otherwise attempting to sell something on our blog without cutting us in on it, your comments will be deleted with extreme prejudice and you will be permanently banned from our blog and burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity.
There are, however, certain situations in which we may be compelled to share access to your data without your consent, e.g., “if required by law, to protect the life of an individual, or to comply with any valid legal process, government request, rule or regulation.” That unlikely scenario aside, your data is absolutely safe with us. Of course, if you are involved in some sort of nefarious activity that might lead to law enforcement agencies compelling us to share your data, we assume you’ll want to subscribe to our newsletter with an untraceable email address, which we do not encourage or condone, but are powerless to prevent you from doing.