The Ministry of Wiki-Truth

OK, here’s a silly one for you.

Have you ever wondered how all those Wikipedia articles get produced … you know, the ones you pull up on your phone to look up an actor, an author, or a recipe, or a historical or scientific fact? Unfortunately, one of the Consent Factory staff had an opportunity to find out recently.

Apparently, what happened was, someone (presumably one of my readers) tried to add a reference to one of my essays to Wikipedia’s Identity Politics page. The Ministry of Wiki-Truth objected, adamantly. A low-level edit war ensued. Once the Ministers had quashed the rebellion, one of them, “Grayfell,” immediately went to the CJ Hopkins Wikipedia article and started punitively “editing” its contents for “neutrality.”

Other Ministers soon joined in the fun. The list of my awards was summarily deleted. My debut novel, Zone 23, which I published under the Consent Factory’s literary imprint, Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant Paperbacks, was “edited” into a vanity publication that I “self-published,” probably in my mother’s basement. The “Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant” imprint (which every bookseller, library, and professional catalog recognizes) was disappeared so that my potential readers will be warned that I’m trying to trick them into buying a book that wasn’t published by a “real” (i.e., corporate) publisher, like the Penguin Group, or one of its … uh, imprints. References to my “political satire and commentary,” and to many of the alternative outlets that regularly repost my essays (like the outlet you’re probably reading this in) were also zapped, because they’re all “fake news” sites operated by Putin-Nazi agents.

Also, given my attempted book fraud, the Wikipedia Ministers immediately launched an investigation into whether I had possibly made up my entire career. Perhaps I had invented all the productions of my plays, and my awards, and even my existence itself. I assume they have contacted my “legitimate” publishers, Bloomsbury Publishing and Broadway Play Publishing, to verify that I haven’t somehow hacked their websites and faked my other books. If they haven’t … well, they should probably get on that.

This “editing” and pursuant investigation was overseen and approved by a senior member of the Ministry’s Arbitration Committee, Doug Weller, who is apparently a “Grandmaster Editor” or a “Lord High Togneme Vicarus” in Wiki-speak. (I kid you not … click the link.) Given Lord Weller’s supervision of the process, I think it’s probably safe to say that this was not just the work of a bunch of kids attempting to negatively impact my book sales because someone on the Internet pissed them off.

This brouhaha was brought to my attention by the Consent Factory’s in-house Wikipedia Liaison, King Ubu (or König Ubu in German). As his job title suggests, King Ubu’s duty is to periodically check my Wikipedia article and make sure that no one has posted anything false, defamatory, or just plain weird. Naturally, when he saw how the Ministers of Wiki-Truth were punitively “editing” my page for “neutrality,” he attempted to engage them. This did not go well. I won’t go through all the gory details, but, if you’re curious, they’re here on the CJ Hopkins “talk” page (which King Ubu reports that he has copied and archived, which I find a bit paranoid, but then, I’m not an IT guy).

Look, normally, I wouldn’t bore you with my personal affairs, but my case is just another example of how “reality” is manufactured these days. In the anti-establishment circles I move in, Wikipedia is notorious for this kind of stuff, which is unsurprising when you think about it. It’s a perfect platform for manufacturing reality, disseminating pro-establishment propaganda, and damaging people’s reputations, which is a rather popular tactic these days. The simple fact is, when you google anything, Wikipedia is usually the first link that comes up. Most people assume that what they read on the platform is basically factual and at least trying to be “objective” … which a lot of it is, but a lot of it isn’t.

If the name Philip Cross doesn’t ring any bells, you might want to have a look into his story before you go back to uncritically surfing Wikipedia. As of May 14, 2018 (when Five Filters published this article about him and his service at the Ministry of Wiki-Truth), he had been editing Wikipedia for five years straight, every day of the week, including Christmas. He (if Cross is an actual person, and not an intelligence agency PSYOP) specializes in maliciously “editing” articles regarding anti-war activists and other anti-establishment persons. The story is too long to recount here, but have a look at this other Five Filters article. If you’re interested, that’s a good place to start.

Or, if you don’t have time to do that, go ahead and use my case as an example. See, according to Ubu, the Ministry’s punitive “editing” of my article to make it more “neutral” began when this specific Minister (“Grayfell”) discovered (a) that I existed, and (b) that I am a leftist heretic. “Grayfell,” as it turns out, is extremely invested in maintaining a positive image of Antifa, whose Wikipedia article he actively edits, and whose honor and integrity he valiantly defends, not only from conservatives and neo-fascist bozos, but apparently also from nefarious leftist authors and political satirists like myself.

Which … OK, I probably deserve it, right? I have satirized identity politics. I have satirized Antifa. I have satirized liberals. I don’t forbid controversial outlets (or any other outlets for that matter) from republishing my political satire and commentary, even after I was instructed to do so by the Leftism Police at CounterPunch. Jesus, I even included a link to a Breitbart article in the preceding paragraph … don’t read it, of course, it’s all a bunch of lies, notwithstanding all the supporting evidence.

Chief among my leftist heresies, I haven’t insulted Trump nearly enough. I don’t believe he’s a “Russian asset” or the resurrection of Adolf Hitler. I believe he is the same narcissistic ass clown and self-absorbed con man he has always been. Much as I dislike the man, I’m not on board with the deep-state coup the Intelligence Community, the Democrats, and the rest of the neoliberal Resistance have been trying to stage since he won the election.

I’m not a big fan of Intelligence agencies, generally. I don’t care much for imperialism, not even when it’s global capitalist imperialism. I do not support the global capitalist ruling classes’ War on Populism, or believe in the official Putin-Nazi narrative that they and their servants in the corporate media have been disseminating for the last three years. I do not sing hymns to former FBI directors. I don’t believe that all conservatives are fascists, or that the working classes are all a bunch of racists, or that “America is under attack.

Let’s face it, I’m a terrible leftist.

So it’s probably good that “Grayfell” and his pals discovered me and are feverishly “correcting” my article, and God knows how many other articles that don’t conform to Wikipedia “policy,” or Philip Cross’ political preferences, or Antifa’s theory of “preemptive self-defense,” or whatever other non-ideological, totally objective editorial standards the “volunteer editors” at the Ministry of Wiki-Truth (who have nothing to do with the Intelligence Community, or Antifa, or any other entities like that) consensually decide to robotically adhere to.

How else are they going to keep their content “neutral,” “unbiased,” and “reliably sourced,” so that people can pull up Wikipedia on their phones and verify historical events (which really happened, exactly as they say they did), or scientific “facts” (which are indisputable) … or whether Oceania is at War with EastAsia, or Eurasia, or the Terrorists, or Russia?

Oh, and please don’t worry about my Wikipedia article. König Ubu assures me he has done all he could to restore it some semblance of accuracy, and that the Ministers have moved on to bigger fish. Of course, who knows what additional “edits” might suddenly become a top priority once “Grayfell” or Antifa gets wind of this piece.

#

CJ Hopkins
November 5, 2019
Photo: Wikipedia

CJ Hopkins Summer 2018 thumbnail

DISCLAIMER: The preceding essay is entirely the work of our in-house satirist and self-appointed political pundit, CJ Hopkins, and does not reflect the views and opinions of the Consent Factory, Inc., its staff, or any of its agents, subsidiaries, or assigns. If, for whatever inexplicable reason, you appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to support it, please go to his Patreon page (where you can contribute as little $1 per month), or send your contribution to his PayPal account, so that maybe he’ll stop coming around our offices trying to hit our staff up for money. Alternatively, you could purchase his satirical dystopian novel, Zone 23, which we understand is pretty gosh darn funny, or any of his subversive stage plays, which won some awards in Great Britain and Australia. If you do not appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to write him an abusive email, please feel free to contact him directly.

16 thoughts on “The Ministry of Wiki-Truth

  1. Damn, Hopkins, what have you gotten yourself into now? You’ve run afoul of the Thought Police again, haven’t you? It looks like they’re using the usual items from their toolkit: character assassination, guilt by association, alteration or elimination of factual information, etc. Better than eliminating your virtual presence is altering it. Have they mentioned that you have been colluding with Tulsi Gabbard and Jill Stein whom we now know, thanks to a former American presidential candidate, are Russian agents? But don’t worry, we got your back, we stand with you…um, who’s that beating on my door?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Sorry to hear about your troubles with the corporate establishment, CJ. If it’s any consolation, you’re in very good company there. Craig Murray and lots of other good people. As someone said, the best way to judge a person’s quality is to see who his enemies are. A really good person cannot avoid having lots of rich and powerful enemies.

    It’s a drop in the ocean, but I have just had the pleasant opportunity of refusing a donation request from Wikipedia. First I did so citing its treatment of Mr Murray; and now I have cited your article.

    “Here is a concrete example of why I shall DEFINITELY NOT be contributing to Wikipedia any time soon.

    https://consentfactory.org/2019/11/05/the-ministry-of-wiki-truth/

    “Read it and weep.

    “As soon as you can convince me that such viciously biased editing no longer takes place, I shall make a donation”.

    Even though the donation appeal prominently displayed a thumbnail (in colour) of a good-looking blonde young lady identified as “Katherine Maher, Executive Director, Wikimedia Foundation”.

    I tried to copy the picture here, but curiously enough clicking on it just takes you to a Wikipedia donation page. Funny that – “all that glisters is not gold”.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Whooops! Rereading my first comment, I can see that my reference to Katherine Maher as “a good-looking blonde young lady” is clearly sexist, utterly non-PC and generally abhorrent. I would withdraw it unreservedly, except that I fear repeating the Simon Cameron joke. (‘U.S. Representative Thaddeus Stevens… when asked whether Cameron would steal, said: “I don’t think that he would steal a red hot stove.” Cameron demanded Stevens retract this insult. Stevens said to Lincoln “I believe I told you he would not steal a red-hot stove. I will now take that back”‘). [source – ironically – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Cameron%5D.

      Even though, apparently, putting her photograph as the top of an email appealing for donations is perfectly OK.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Ditto. I think I stopped donating around the time of the hatchet job on Craig Murray. But it did feel good to respond to the latest solicitation with a link to CJ’s article.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. C.J. – even a highly adept satirist is hard pressed in these time to find any way to “satirize” the absurdist audience participation theatre of the absurd “play” we presently all find ourselves to be unwilling extras in. That you continue to find ways to make us all wince and smile at the madness is a testament to your skills. In this present matter I can only say I am sorry to hear of you being so blatantly and amorally targeted by the WikiCIA forces, but as another commenter stated, such attention is truly a badge of honor.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. After already (in late 2018): refusing twice, including saying naw to ‘the blonde’; below is my response to WikiFascism’s latest annual appeal for $; this time from none other than Jimmy fucking Wales himselfness, who has apparently ‘had enough…’:

    “You’re not the only one who’s ‘had enough’.
    That C$5 has been ‘re-directed’ — to oppose digital-fascism.
    For the avoidance of doubt…
    https://consentfactory.org/2019/11/05/the-ministry-of-wiki-truth/
    #FuckSurveillanceCapitalism ”

    I had previously sent them a link to a Chris Hedges ON CONTACT piece:
    Wikipedia – A Tool Of The Ruling Elite

    and a gratuitous link to what is/will hopefully be a better way: http://www.everipedia.org

    Like

  5. Many, many moon cycles ago I posted a moon landing conspiracy tale on the moon landing conspiracy page. Right place.

    Nope, I was pretty much instantly set upon by security. I did what I usually do and laughed at those who try to bully me. I was threatened with a lifetime ban and wandered off spitting into the scrub and cursing those robo security folks.

    Like

  6. Of course, this conduct of the Wikidiot wing of the capitalist Stasi is offensive and outrageous. But, it is also a left-handed compliment. C.J. Hopkins now amounts to being a Serious Pest of the police state. Ask for a letter adducing such, bronze it and nail it to your door. As an accolade.
    If you were a low orbiting pest or inarticulate, the Wikidiots wouldn’t trouble you. But look now, you are causing them to allocate resources and spend a lot of money. Plus, such attacks will rouse up and consolidate a fury of angry folks. Thus, a valuable service has been rendered. Keeping in mind that university liberals, Facebook and many other degenerates are burning through dough offending ever wider layers of the intelligent populace.
    Keep up doing good! Bite back with pleasure. Tie them up. Burn them out. Pick more fights. Go around them. Be innovative. Appear joyful. Exercise your craft. Really piss them off. They only behave like this when they are already on the run.
    U.S. Grant had it right when he told off his whining generals: “Stop worrying about what the enemy is doing to you and start thinking of what you are going to do to them”.

    Like

  7. A personal experience, far from the level of anti establishment censorship of CJ.

    I used to comment on “Patheos Nonreligious” Ed Brayton’s blog, and finally managed to get banned after I posted and commented on an Article by Chris Hedges about the sideshows that the impeachment attempts are, and making fun of Baryton’s circus, and had tested his patience before showing the absurdity of Russia/Ukraine gate, the Skripal case etc… I consider myself an oldstyle leftwinger/socialist and find all that identity crap, the sudden love of the so called “liberal left” for the alphabet soup of agencies and the love for an old war crow like Clinton abhorrent.
    I have no love for a guy like Trump, and made it clear that I only had hoped he would be elected because his anti war stance – which he was either unwilling or unable to really convert into action.
    I was told by the crowd that religiously defends Brayton that the catastrophe of Libya was justified, as was the involvement of Nato in Syria etc.
    Before Brayton I also managed to get banned by Jerry Coyne criticizing his stance on Palestine, where he almost completely regurgitates the APAIC crap.
    With my stance critiquing what nowadays calls itself the liberal left, those are just two of the few other forums I was banned from or left because a dialogue simply was impossible because of the entrenched views what they determined to be acceptable topics and how to approach them:
    No discussion with anyone conservative or even mentioning valid points that Paleoconservatives like Pat Buchanan make, or the opinions of Ron Paul, quietly accepting the whole gender crap and uncritical acceptance of the demands of LGBTABCDEFG…groups, the righteousness of the Democratic Party, the unquestionable status of the EU, the right by Nato under the leadership of the USA to interfere in anything they deem inappropriate in other Nations etc.
    It gets quite lonely but that is better than having to endure the uncritical acceptance by that crowd what their Gurus demand them to believe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was told by the crowd that religiously defends Brayton that the catastrophe of Libya was justified, as was the involvement of Nato in Syria etc.

      Well, shame on you, Peter, I am saying this with a smile, for mixing with the kind of people who will say “NATO” where it is “USA” or “USA and Israel”.
      Such hypocrites don’t even deserve opposition or criticism.

      Like

  8. I haven’t actually wondered about how they are written.

    If you know mankind (and to know it you have to be someone whom to know is bearable: thus, since knowing yourself is bearable, you can know yourself first), everything official/public/mainstream goes along the same lines, visible, known lines to you, and you don’t have to wonder again, and look for explanation again, every new time.

    Wikipedia being a mirror of human nature, it is truth-free, increasingly so as power and hated truths are involved (pages not involving currently dominating human groups, current power and propaganda, and truths about themselves humans can’t stand are actually useful reads on Wikipedia). How is the rest of its content written? Well, it’s written by power, and human nature — the same who write newspapers, mainstream books on politics, sociology, and so on.

    Always the same. Yawn.

    Like

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