Trumpenstein Must Be Destroyed!

So here we go. Like a 1960s straight-to-drive-in Hammer Film Production, the 2020 campaign season has begun. Dig into your bucket of popcorn, pop the flap on your box of Good & Plenty, turn off your mind, and enjoy the show. From the looks of the trailer, it’s going to be a doozy.

That’s right, folks, it’s the final installment of the popular Trumpenstein horror movie series, TRUMPENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED! It will be playing, more or less around the clock, on more or less every screen in existence, until November 3, 2020 … or until Trump takes that lonely walk across the White House lawn to the Marine One chopper and flies off to Mar-a-Lago in disgrace.

Here’s a quick recap of the series so far, for those who may be joining us late.

When we last saw Trumpenstein he was out on the balcony of the White House South Portico in his Brioni boxers, ripped to the gills on Diet Coke and bellowing like a bull elephant seal. Having narrowly survived the Resistance’s attempts to expose him as a Russian intelligence asset (and the reanimated corpse of Adolf Hitler), he was pounding his chest and hollering angry gibberish at the liberal media like the Humongous in the second Mad Max movie.

The liberal mob was standing around with their torches and pitchforks in a state of shock. Doctor Mueller, the “monster hunter,” had let Trumpenstein slip through his fingers. The supposedly ironclad case against him had turned out to be a bunch of lies made up by the Intelligence Community, the Democratic Party, and the corporate media.

Russiagate was officially dead. The President of the United States was not a Russian secret agent. No one was blackmailing anyone with a videotape of Romanian prostitutes peeing on a bed where Obama once slept. All that had happened was, millions of liberals had been subjected to the most elaborate psyop in the history of elaborate deep state psyops … which, ironically, had only further strengthened Trumpenstein, who was out there on the Portico balcony, shotgunning Diet Cokes with one hand and shaking his junk at the mob with the other.

It wasn’t looking so good for “democracy.”

Fortunately, even though Russiagate had blown up in the Resistance’s faces and Trumpenstein could no longer be painted as a traitorous Russian intelligence asset (or as Vladimir Putin’s homosexual lover), he was still the reanimated corpse of Hitler, so they went balls out on the fascism hysteria, which kept the Resistance alive through the summer.

Which was all they really needed to do. Because these last three years were basically just a warm-up for the main event, which was always scheduled to begin this autumn. Russiagate, Hitlergate, and all the rest of it … it was all just a prelude to these impeachment hearings, and to the mass hysteria surrounding same, which the global capitalist ruling classes, the Intelligence Community, and the corporate media will be barraging us with until November 2020. The details don’t really matter that much. They were always going to impeach him for something, and they were always going to do it now, and throughout the 2020 campaign season.

You do not honestly believe they are going to let him serve a second term, do you? He took them by surprise in 2016. That isn’t going to happen again. Seriously, take a moment and reflect on everything we’ve been subjected to since Hillary Clinton lost the election … the unmitigated insanity of it all. The Russiagate hysteria. The Russian hacker hysteria. The Russian Facebook mind-control hysteria. The Hitler hysteria. The mass fascism hysteria. The anti-Semitism hysteria. The concentration camp hysteria. The white supremacist terrorism hysteria. Russian spy whales. Perfume assassins. The endless stream of fabricated “news” stories pumped out by the corporate media. Best-selling books, based on nothing. Comedians singing hymns to former FBI directors on national television. Celebrities demanding CIA coups. Papers of record like The New York Times coordinating blatant propaganda campaigns. The list goes on, and on, and on.

All of this because one billionaire ass clown won an election without their permission?

No, this was never just about Donald Trump, repulsive and corrupt as the man may be. The stakes have always been much higher than that. What we’ve witnessed over the the last three years (and what is about to reach its apogee) is a global capitalist counter-insurgency, the goal of which is (a) to put down the ongoing populist rebellion throughout the West, and (b) to crush any hope of resistance to the hegemony of global capitalism … in other words, a War on Populism.

Not that Donald Trump is a populist hero. Far from it. Trump is a narcissistic clown. He has always been a narcissistic clown. All he really cares about is seeing his face on television and plastering his name on everything in sight, preferably in huge gold letters. He got himself elected president by being cunning enough to recognize and ride the tsunami of populist anger that was building up in 2016, and that has continued to build throughout his presidency. It is not going away, that anger. The Western masses are no more thrilled about the global capitalist future today than they were when they voted for Brexit, and Trump, and various other “populist” and reactionary figures.

Which is precisely why Trumpenstein must be destroyed, and why Brexit must not be allowed to happen … or, if it does, why the people of the United Kingdom must be mercilessly punished. It is also why the Gilets Jaunes are being brutally repressed by the French police, and disappeared by the corporate media (while the Hong Kong protesters garner daily headlines), and why Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party must be smeared as a hive of anti-Semites, and Tulsi Gabbard as an Assad-apologist, and why Julian Assange must be smeared and destroyed, and why Bernie Sanders must also be destroyed, and why anyone of any ilk (left, right, it doesn’t matter) riding that wave of populist anger or challenging the hegemony of global capitalism and its psychotic, smiley-face ideology in any other way must be destroyed.

2020 is for all the marbles. The global capitalist ruling classes either crush this ongoing populist insurgency or … God knows where we go from here. Try to see it through their eyes for a moment. Picture four more years of Trump … second-term Trump … Trump unleashed. Do you really believe they’re going to let that happen, that they are going to permit this populist insurgency to continue for another four years?

They are not. What they are going to do is use all their power to destroy the monster … not Trump the man, but Trump the symbol. They are going to drown us in impeachment minutiae, drip, drip, drip, for the next twelve months. The liberal corporate media are going to go full-Goebbels. They are going to whip up so much mass hysteria that people won’t be able to think. They are going to pit us one against the other, and force us onto one or the other side of a simulated conflict (Democracy versus the Putin-Nazis) to keep us from perceiving the actual conflict (Global Capitalism versus Populism). They are going to bring us to the brink of civil war in order to prevent civil war. And, if that doesn’t work, and Trump gets reelected (or if it looks like he’s going to get reelected), they’ll probably have to just go ahead and kill him.

One way or another, this is it. This is the part where the global capitalist ruling classes teach us all a lesson. The lesson they intend to teach us is the same old lesson that masters have been teaching slaves since the dawn of slavery. The lesson is, “abandon hope.” The lesson is, “resistance is futile.” The lesson is, “shut up, eat your tofu, get back to work at your three gig jobs, service your school loans and your credit card debt, vote for who and what we tell you, and be grateful we don’t fucking kill you. Oh, yeah … and if you want to rebel against something, feel free to take up identity politics, or to march around town with posters of Saint Greta demanding that we stop destroying the planet. We’ll get right on that, don’t you worry.”

What? You thought this had a happy ending, that Trumpenstein and the Bride of Trumpenstein were going to ride off into the orange sunrise at Mar-a-Lago in a Trump-branded golf cart, having made America great again … or that Bernie was going to storm the castle, vanquish Trumpenstein, and set up something resembling basic social democracy?

I told you it was a horror film, didn’t I?


CJ Hopkins
October 4, 2019
Photo: Republic of Buzz

CJ Hopkins Summer 2018 thumbnail

DISCLAIMER: The preceding essay is entirely the work of our in-house satirist and self-appointed political pundit, CJ Hopkins, and does not reflect the views and opinions of the Consent Factory, Inc., its staff, or any of its agents, subsidiaries, or assigns. If, for whatever inexplicable reason, you appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to support it, please go to his Patreon page (where you can contribute as little $1 per month), or send your contribution to his PayPal account, so that maybe he’ll stop coming around our offices trying to hit our staff up for money. Alternatively, you could purchase his satirical dystopian novel, Zone 23, which we understand is pretty gosh darn funny, or any of his subversive stage plays, which won some awards in Great Britain and Australia. If you do not appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to write him an abusive email, please feel free to contact him directly.

33 thoughts on “Trumpenstein Must Be Destroyed!

  1. Banksy should do a US Congress version, of his Devolved Parliament painting – which would be a great visual complement to CJ’s brilliant analysis, of the insane clown posse known as Western Imperialism. Though with will all due respect, “the most elaborate psyop in the history of elaborate deep state psyops” was 9/11 . . . followed by the assassinations of JFK, MLK, RFK, etc. You can include the creation of the Bible in that list as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadly C.J. I think your analysis is right on the money. If anyone told me a month ago that the ruling class could pull this current “Ukrainegate” = “impeachment” crazy out of it’s ass, and market it in prime time, I must admit I’d have been hard pressed to think it possible, particularly with the taste of Russiagate barely out of our mouths. I suspect that the next year will become a living hell for any of us still capable of rubbing a couple of synapse together in order to elicit a lucid thought.

    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The desperate howling of the liberals, ex-‘progressives’ and burned out leftists. The Loyal Opposition of the ruling regime. Seeking to avoid the fate of Europe’s social democrats slide into oblivion. The layer of the cushy and tenured frightened at being redundent because they are no longer needed to contain and mis-lead the now dormant working class. They cannot control the rising populists because they have nothing to offer. Feminism now celebrates a Secretary of State who bombs and murders as well as any man. Once South Africa was excoriated for Apartheid but Isreal is such a nice paymaster. No more mobilizing for an Equal Rights Amendment.

    Bottom of the barrel time. Whining about gender pronouns, dishing out anti-semetic smears, abandoning the homeless. There are no arrows left in the liberal et al quiver to inspire regular people. So, the traitor class is left with Russia screeching (mutated into Ukraine) and Trump as Andrew Jackson redux. But the wind is in their face what with the rapid rise to power of Russia-China and the impending threat of a debt crash.

    If the Democrats came to power it would be a hollow victory. Because they can’t rule. Anymore than Trump can. America is an ungovernable Titanic heading for an historic ice field. However, that would be acceptable so long as the traitor class can hang on to their benefits and funding. So they cannot allow a Yellow Vest movement to arise in the U.S. They betrayed the working class and must focus the Body Politic to prevent any constituency of the people who might offer resitance to the Regime that the liberal parasites feed off of.

    Socialism or the Freikorps. Either way the liberals are toast.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. CJ’s latest newsletter includes an announcement that he’s publishing his essays in print form.

    “I mostly just want to have my essays out in print in advance of the Total Societal Collapse, or the Global Putin-Nazi Attack, or the Zombie Apocalypse that we all know is coming. There won’t be much Internet once that happens. And even if there is, my stuff won’t be on it.”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It disappoints me that you can approvingly rattle off almost all the major systemic reasons why Trump supporters stand by him, yet still hate him over relatively insignificant questions of policy or personality. If you believe in the severity of the threats you describe, I don’t see how you can help but have at least a begrudging loyalty to Trump, if only in an ‘enemy of my enemy’ sense. Whatever his real or perceived flaws, Trump is the only current, credible threat to this system as it exists.

    Freedom is the freedom to make Donald Trump the president of the United States. Everything else follows from that.


    1. The headline of today’s (12.10.19) Unz Review is “He’s the Only Trump We’ve Got—It’s Him (And Us) Against the Ruling Class”. That’s ‘Me’s’ point and the angle of the lumpenliberals is identical except they reverse the principle variables. Tweedledum or tweedledee.

      The truth is that the two apparent contenders are factions of the same party. Doesn’t matter so much which holds formal power, they rule the same way, to the benefit of the elites and detriment of working people. So, Trump is the enemy but the Democrats are traitors. You can go up and down the line of policy issues and the political record of both factions and the stink in the same. If you apologize for one lot over the other you are damned as a hypocrit at the very least.

      Liberals try to bully and intimidate people into giving them grudging support because Trump behaves like Jed Clampett on bad drugs. But those who have been betrayed by the Democrats so often cannot stomach this. That makes them no less opposed to Trump and the Republicans.

      Which brings us to the Yellow Vest types…


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