In a departure from our usual behind-the-scenes-type operations, the Consent Factory announces today its endorsement of USAF Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper for President. Given the recent and ongoing series of relentless attacks on America, and democracy itself, being perpetrated more or less around the clock by the Russians (hereinafter the “Rooskies”), Wikileaks, Trump, and other Clinton-haters, we feel we have to take a stance this time.
The fact of the matter is, as recklessly military intervention-happy as Hillary Clinton has proven herself to be, we are concerned that she may not have the stomach to go toe-to-toe with Putin and the Rooskies once World War III gets started in Syria. For one thing, the Clintons own property in the northeastern United States, which might cause Hillary to hesitate for just a fraction of a second at that crucial world-annihilating moment, i.e., when the time comes to rain all manner of nukular hell down on the Rooskies, and the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, and the rest of the planet, in order to safeguard America, and the principle of democracy, in some underground bunker complex that is already being stocked with essential supplies and nubile young bimbos. Say what you want about General Jack D. Ripper, but no one can honestly question his willingness to unhesitatingly launch all-out thermo-nukular war against the Rooskies, or Wikileaks, or whomever the corporate media hoodwinks Americans into believing is threatening their way of life, or their precious bodily fluids.
The Consent Factory management urges all Americans, aspiring Americans, and anyone who will actually believe the childish, paranoid propaganda we and our clients in the media peddle, to join our campaign to elect United States Air Force Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper 45th President of the United States, which we will have to do by writing him in, as Rooskie infiltrators have denied him a place on the November 8 ballot. This isn’t a joke, or some sort of satirical effort to highlight the kind of blatantly made-up nonsense the corporate media and its owners expect millions of Americans to unthinkingly buy into, as if they were a bunch of dupes who will just believe anything. We seriously want people to go to the polls on November 8, and write in General Jack D. Ripper for President.
So, please, help us protect America’s fluids from the Rooskies by spreading the word of this effort to all your red-blooded American and America-loving friends. If you’re on the Twitter, the hashtag is …