OK, it has come to our attention that our last post (How to Herd your Critics into Fake Communities and Waste their Time, Part 1) was perhaps a bit too long and complicated for some people to try to read on their phones while walking at more or less full speed down the middle of the sidewalk and clicking back and forth between the post and Facebook and Twitter every ten or twelve seconds. So we’re going to try to keep our posts shorter from now on, and to avoid veering off onto arguably interesting but perhaps not entirely relevant tangents, and cut way down on the rambling run-on sentence type of thing, and the possibly excessive use of parentheticals. Also, according to our in-house PR people, we need to lay off any kind of pseudo-academic or pretentious-sounding lexis (e.g. terms like “agrarian,” or “lexis,” or references to things like “Chartism”), and to affect a more “folksy” or “homespun” tone, which they (i.e. our PR people) feel connotes a more “personal” or “intimate” content/consumer relationship, which is definitely the type of fake relationship we’re trying to engender here on our blog as we build our platform and establish our brand in advance of trying to sell you things later. Oh, and the other thing they mentioned was paragraph length, which apparently the beta test feedback indicated was “un-user-friendly” (28%), or “difficult to navigate” (22%), or “gave me a headache” (17%). (N.B. Interestingly, the completely unexceptional 25-54 year-old, university-educated, aspiringly-affluent, ethnically-diverse, urban/suburban consumers comprising our independently-conducted, semi-anonymous beta testing groups had no problems at all with our prodigious use of business lexis (or “CorpSpeak”), which, according to our PR team, has, along with High Rising Terminal (HRT), or “uptalk,” and laryngealization, or “glottal frying,” or “croaking,” become a standard feature of the type of Business English that more and more people are speaking to each other without even thinking about how they sound or why they sound that way.) So, basically, we’re going to (a) take all this feedback on board, (b) grab a quick idea shower, then (c) action some sort of proactive game theory that will optimize the impact of our deliverables (i.e. content) going forward. We hope you enjoy the result.
With kindest regards and all best wishes,