I’m going to be out of commission for a while.

I’ll spare you (or deny you) the gory details. The short version is, I am in pretty bad shape, and, after a couple more unpleasant diagnostic procedures, I’m going to get operated on by a big, scary-looking robot like the one in the photo above.

That’s the good scenario. The bad scenario is, well, bad. Let’s not get into that.

The point is, no new columns for a while. No interviews. No Notes. No Tweets. Or, OK, maybe a Note or a Tweet here and there. But, basically, I’m out of the office on medical leave.

The Substack unsubscriptions are starting to roll in again, so I just wanted to make that clear. Sorry. Go ahead and unsubscribe if you need to. I’ll understand.

Or, if you want to hang in there with me during my medical leave, and if you get bored with all the Epstein stuff, and if the next phase of GloboCap’s ongoing destabilization, restructuring, and privatization of the Middle East doesn’t turn out to be as titillating as expected, and you start to miss me, you can always read one of my books.

This one, for example, is really long. It might tide you over until I return to work.

Oh, and, don’t worry about that big, scary-looking robot. If my final diagnostic tests produce the expected results, and my surgery goes ahead, the robot will be operated by a top-notch German surgeon, Dr. Nagel (transl. “Dr. Nail”), so it’s not like getting operated on by a HAL 9000 or some other kind of dystopian AI.

That’s it for now. There’s no further news regarding my legal cases. I’m still waiting for a ruling from the Bundesverfassungsgericht (i.e., Germany’s supreme court), and for new charges to be filed by the Berlin Prosecutor in the wake of the police raid of my home in November. I’ll try to update you if anything happens on that front.

Finally, heartfelt thanks to everyone who has sent well wishes and/or support during these past couple of months. It means a lot to me.

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CJ Hopkins
February 20, 2026

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DISCLAIMER: The preceding essay is entirely the work of our in-house satirist and self-appointed political pundit, CJ Hopkins, and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the Consent Factory, Inc., or its staff, or any of its agents, subsidiaries, or assigns. If, for whatever inexplicable reason, you appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to support it, please go to his Substack page, or his Patreon page, or send a contribution to his PayPal account, so that maybe he’ll stop coming around our offices trying to hit our employees up for money. Alternatively, you could purchase his satirical dystopian sci-fi novel, Zone 23, or Volumes I, II, III, and IV of his Consent Factory Essays, or any of his subversive stage plays, which won some awards in Great Britain and Australia. If you do not appreciate Mr. Hopkins’ work and would like to write him an abusive or threatening email, feel free to contact him directly.